Have you ever gotten out of bed completely down because you had to face something? Maybe you knew that you were going to have an uncomfortable conversation with your boss or coworker. The idea of facing rejection on all of your cold calls is just to much for you. Maybe your spouse is in a horrible mood and taking it out on you. Maybe it was something physical, like lower back pain.
And, it just brought you completely down. When that happens with me, it’s almost always because of distorted thinking. There are many forms of distorted thinking.
The distorted thinking patterns that get me, when I let them, are filtering and polarized or black and white thinking. Filtering is seeing something, usually, through a negative filter and filtering out any positives.
Black and white thinking, in my case, is that if something isn’t perfect then everything is BAD.
Example: My back is killing me today. Instead of remembering that I am in superb shape, with great muscular definition, fantastic cardio respiratory fitness, wonderful muscle mass and great strength and power, I focus on nerve pain in my sacrum. Instead of focussing on the fact that I had no back pain for a month and am physiologically 20 years younger than my calendar age, I focus on something temporary and capricious-back pain.
So, in selling, it’s very easy to think that ALL OF YOUR SALES CALLS WILL END IN REJECTION. This is black and white thinking. MOST of your sales calls will end in rejection. Certainly not all. Somewhere in your prospect list is someone who is fed up with their current vendor. There is someone who has an immediate need for your product. There is someone who you will ”click” immediately with. There is someone who has the money in their budget and needs to spend it or they will lose it.
What kinds of little things are you letting ruin your wonderful life because things aren’t “perfect?” What temporary bad thing have you convinced yourself is permanent? Have that painful conversation with your boss. Once it’s over, it’s over. Know that your spouse’s mood will improve and you don’t have to own it. Just be there for them, just like they are for you when you have lower back pain. And, it might take you a two hundred calls and thirty painful or boring or inconclusive conversations before you eventually talk to that wonderful potential customer who will become a lifelong client, friend and great source of referrals.
Action Items/Activity Triggers
1. Look up Distorted Thinking.
2. When you are down, go down the list and see if you are letting one or two of these distorted thinking patterns ruin an otherwise wonderful life.
3. Apologize to your co-workers and loved ones for having a few pissy days when you do let something get you down.
4. Forgive yourself. After all, you can’t be perfect. That’s distorted thinking.